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Any great man born in this village?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Udurawana "Any great man born in this village???" Udurawana : no sir, only small Babies!!!
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Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Udu: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?
Udu : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Who is speaking?
Udurawana went to Colombo for official matter and called to his house over
phone. Servant had taken the receiver.
Udurawana: Who is speaking?
Servant : Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back
and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line. After some time ... there
come 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!
Servant : Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back
and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line. After some time ... there
come 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!
Udurawana visited a museum
One day Udurawana visited a museum with a foreign visitor. The visitor saw a big skull and asked what that was.
Udurawana said "that was the skull of King Sri Wickrama Rajasinghe".
After a few miniutes, the visitor saw another small skull of a monkey and asked udurawana what that was.
After a few miniutes, the visitor saw another small skull of a monkey and asked udurawana what that was.
Udurawana said " that is when the king was young"
Sri Lanka Hit New Low
Sri Lanka were bowled out for their lowest ever one-day international score as South Africa thumped them by 258 runs in Paarl. South Africa batted first and posted an imposing 8-301 from their 50 overs, with Hashim Amla (112) and Jacques Kallis (72) leading the way.
They could have scored more if not for a batting collapse in the final stages but it mattered little as Sri Lanka were embarrassingly bowled out for just 43 in response.
Morne Morkel (4-10) and Lonwabo Tsotsobe (3-19) were the chief destroyers for the winners as the tourists scored the fourth-worst score in one-day international history.
Chasing 302, the tourists needed a first start but Upul Tharanga (zero) lasted just two balls before Morkel snared his first scalp.
Sri Lankan captain Tillakaratne Dilshan (zero) followed in the next over when he edged behind off Tsotsobe and Dinesh Chandimal (four), Kumar Sangakkara (four), Angelo Mathews (zero) and Mahela Jayawardene (two) all showed no resistance as they slumped to 6-13.
Morkel and Tsotsobe had done all the damage to that point but the introduction of Robin Peterson (2-5) and Dale Steyn (1-7) led to more carnage, with the latter snaring the wicket of Nuwan Kulasekara (six).
Peterson bowled Malinga before taking the catch that removed Kosala Kulasekara #8211; who amazingly was the only Sri Lankan batsman to pass six runs; on the mid-wicket fence as he trudged off with 19 from his 46 deliveries at the crease.
Peterson wrapped up the rout when he trapped Fernando lbw as Sri Lanka lasted just 108 minutes and 20.1 overs with the bat.
Earlier, Amla and Kallis gave South Africa the upper hand with a superb 144-run partnership that set their innings up.
Malinga (5-53) dismissed Graeme Smith (six) early, but the hosts quickly got to work as unusually, Amla played the anchor role while Kallis was the aggressor.
The pair turned the strike over freely and opted for accumulation rather than unnecessary big-hitting and it paid dividends until Kallis was run out by Mahela Jayawardene.
New captain AB de Villiers (52 from 40 balls) swung from the word go and whacked seven boundaries while Amla’s patience was rewarded when he turned the ball of his pads down to fine leg for a two that brought up his century.
Just two balls later de Villiers was bowled and in the hunt for late runs, Albie Morkel (25), Amla, JP Duminy (one), Faf Du Plessis (10) and Steyn (one) were all dismissed as Sri Lanka took 6-60 from the final 10 overs.
It proved academic in the end though, as South Africa romped home to an emphatic victory which gives them a 1-0 lead in the five-match series, Sky News reports.
Commission Submits Report On A/L Results – Sources
The commission appointed to probe issues pertaining to the released 2011 Advanced Level examination results, has handed over its final report to the President, sources said today.
President Rajapakse on December 30 appointed the committee to investigate the results of the examinations, which came under criticism due to the delay in releasing the results and the suspending of district rankings.
Authorities had stated that the District Rankings were suspended due to a ‘technical error’ during the calculation process.
There had been a delay in the releasing of A/L results as examinations were conducted under two syllabuses, which caused difficulties in deciding a general ‘Z-score’.
Secretary to the Ministry of Technology and Research Dara Wijayathilake was named as the Chairperson to the committee, which consists of Vice Chancellor of the Colombo University Prof. Kshanika Hirimburegama, Vice Chancellor of the Moratuwa University Prof. Ananda Jayawardane, Vice chancellor of the Uva Wellassa University Prof. Ranjith Premalal De Silva and also the Principal of Royal College Mr. Upali Gunasekara.
The committee was instructed by the President to conduct an extensive inquiry into the issue related to the District Rankings of the 2011 A/L results and to submit its recommendations within 2 weeks.
Protesting against private medical college unethical - Minister S.B. Dissanayake
Higher Education Minister S.B. Dissanayake said Sri Lanka has many
private tertiary education institutions offering degree certificates and
therefore it is not ethical for the Government Medical Officers
Association (GMOA) or any other party to protest against the setting up
of private medical colleges which will help the country produce more
doctors in future.
According to Higher Education Ministry reports, over seven tertiary education institutions operate in the country at present, offering degree certificates on various educational fields.
The Minister also referred to the protest carried out by the GMOA last week against the decision taken by the Higher Education Ministry to legalise the South Asian Institute of Technology and Medicine (SAITM) at Malabe. He said only those who missed entry to Sri Lankan Medical Colleges by a few marks seek enrolment in this private medical college.
He said the SAITM was established in 2008 and the University Grants Commission (UGC) has approved it after monitoring its education facilities for over two years.
It is reported that the SAITM is affiliated to the University of Wolverhampton, University of Buckingham, Asian Institute of Technology and Nizhny Novgorod State Medical Academy and the quality and standard of the medical degrees awarded come under the purview of the UGC and the Sri Lanka Medical Council (SLMC).
Meanwhile, a senior official of the SAITM said the private medical college has many facilities including lecture halls, auditoriums, tutorial rooms, laboratories and museums for anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, parasitology and pathology, while others are being constructed.
It is also reported that the GMOA's planned strike last Wednesday was called off after certain demands were made to the SAITM.
The SAITM also turned down the request made by the Health Ministry and the GMOA to suspend enrolling students to the institution.
Meanwhile, Health Minister Maithreepala Sirisena at a recent function at the Batticaloa Teaching Hospital said education and other facilities at private medical colleges should be of a high standard and it is their duty to produce qualified doctors to cater to the needs of patients.
Marine drive to be extended to Panadura
The
newly constructed marine drive from Kollupitiya junction to Wellawatte
will be extended to Panadura from January next year.
According to the Ministry of Highways, construction work on the first phase between Wellawatte and Moratuwa will be completed soon to ease the heavy traffic congestion.
At present motorists take over 70 minutes to reach either destination.
Deputy Ports and Highways Minister Nirmala Kotalawala told the Sunday Observer that a marine drive from Wellawatte to Moratuwa is urgently needed and the road design process which is now being carried out will be completed before December.
After the first phase is completed motorists could access the new Galle Road from Moratuwa. At present it takes only five to six minutes to reach Panadura from Moratuwa on the new Galle Road which runs parallel to the Southern railway track.
Deputy Minister Kotalawala said that hoteliers, residents and land owners, living along the coastal belt from Wellawatte to Moratuwa have been warned to refrain from building new constructions.
The Minister said the road and other needs of the marine drive from Wellawatte to Kollupitiya are being regularly monitored, since all vehicles on the Galle Road from the South enter the city of Colombo from Dickman's Road.
Motorists could now drive to Kollupitiya from Dickman's Road junction within a few minutes due to the uniflow system, introduced by the City Police a few months ago.
Mervyn Silva intervenes to prevent animal sacrifice
Public Relations and Public Affairs Minister Mervyn Silva took it upon
himself to release the animals prepared to be sacrificed at the Sri
Bhadra Kali Amman Kovil in Munneswaram, Chilaw today (September 13).
Following the court order temporarily suspending the annual ritual,
Minister Silva stated he would personally transport the animals to
animal farms. (Pic by Jude Samantha) Source - Ada Derana
Singapoor Maid takes sexy photos on employer's bed
After reading the recent horror story about a maid who put menstrual blood in her employers' soup, one employer did a spot check on her maid's Facebook page.
She was shocked when she saw a photo of her Filipino maid posing suggestively on the bed in the master bedroom.
The employer deduced that the photo was taken by another person, which meant that her maid was allowing strangers into the house while everyone was at work.
The concerned employer sent the photos to citizen journalism website Stomp to warn other employers to be vigilant about their maid's activities.
She added that she had only employed this maid for two months after she was transferred from another employer.
She has already sent the maid back to the employment agency.
She said: "I also have a kid in her care and it's unnerving to know these things are happening in my own house... Employers beware. She might be transferred to you next."
Earlier this year, there was a similar incident where a domestic helper wore her employer's clothes and posted the photos online.
Jobless man in Singapoor jailed for entering female toilet, peeping at student
An unemployed man was jailed for three weeks on Friday for trespassing into a female toilet and insulting modesty.Foo Sai Teck, 38, pleaded guilty to two counts of criminal trespass at the female toilet of CPA House at Aljunied Road and to peeping at a 17-year-old student through a gap between the door and the floor of a cubicle last month.
A Community Court heard that on Aug 3, he went to a female toilet on the fifth level of the building and stayed in the last cubicle.
Later, a 22-year-old student walked in and saw him kneeling with his head bent towards the floor and looking into a cubicle.
A week later, Foo repeated the offence by entering another women's toilet and peeping at a 17-year-old student.
Foo has convictions for criminal trespass, molestation and insulting modesty.
He could have been jailed for up to a year and/or fined for insulting modesty. For trespass, the maximum punishment is three months' jail and a $1,500 fine.
Facebook Accused of Publishing Partner’s Passwords
Another
person is currently claiming a stake in Zuckerberg's Facebook fortune:
someone named Paul Ceglia recently claimed that the social “not-working
behemoth” had used some underhand tactics in the company’s legal
defense.Paul Ceglia said that he used to have a contract that would have undoubtedly made him a Facebook partner eight years ago. Ceglia is now claiming that the social network’s hired hands from Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP for some reason included his personal passwords in court papers.
According to his accusations, his private e-mail addresses and passwords were extracted from the public federal court filing. Then, he claims, they were later removed. Meanwhile, Bloomberg believes that Paul Ceglia's attorneys were outraged and for some reason took a decision to use the alleged privacy violations for leverage in court. The court papers reveal that they are claiming that counsel’s baffling misconduct caused the situation where Ceglia’s e-mail accounts were accessible to the open public for a few hours. Currently they are looking for both court sanctions and attorney fees.
In respond, the most popular social network in the world denied that an individual named Paul Ceglia had any rights to its vast, vast coffers. All they were able to disclose was that Zuckerberg had agreed to work with something under the name “StreetFax” – a start-up. However, Facebook wasn’t referenced anywhere. In its turn, the corporation claimed that Paul Ceglia was engaging in fraud and therefore wasn’t entitled to any money.
Regardless of whether or not Paul Ceglia had any right to Zuckerberg's Facebook, everyone understands that he chose to target a company with very, very deep pockets. The latter, in the meantime, is a company that doesn’t wear its heart on its sleeve. If you have seen The Social Network or just learnt something about the most amazing network in the world, connecting friends and relatives in some cases tighter than any other means of communication, you would know that Facebook’s history was all over the lawsuits with claims that someone’s taken part in developing Facebook’s idea.
With the case continuing, we’ll whether this person is simply trying to turn a buck, or whether the social network is more worried than it’s letting on.
Yahoo Fired Its CEO
Yahoo
is reported to fire its CEO Carol Bartz by phone. If some of you
remember, she was hired with great fanfare, and the move was targeted at
saving the search giant from obscurity. Nevertheless, she didn’t do a
lot, except making a deal with Microsoft.
Yahoo has recently released a statement, saying that Bartz had been “removed” from her position. The post will be taken by Timothy Morse, chief financial officer, for now. Yahoo will then be looking for someone else.
According to media reports, Carol Bartz sent a goodbye letter to employees from her tablet, saying that she was very sad to tell everyone she had been fired over the phone by the company’s chairman of the board. Carol expressed her pleasure to work at the company and wished everyone the best.
Meanwhile, Yahoo has consistently lost ground on advertising within the past years. For example, even Facebook seems to overtake Yahoo in 2011 and collect the biggest slice of Internet display advertising dollars in the United States.
Carol Bartz was hired by Yahoo 2 years ago to replace its co-founder Jerry Yang, who also failed to turn the search engine around. When she joined the company, Yahoo’s shares were trading for around $12. However, when Wall Street heard of her exit, the shares jumped more than 6% in after-hours trade to $13.72. Later Wall Street lost interest in Carol Bartz, because she didn’t do that much. Moreover, she mishandled the Yahoo’s strained relationship with Chinese Alibaba Group, which had handed Alipay to the search engine. Alipay was controlled by Alibaba founder Jack Ma, most likely without the search giant’s knowledge. Meanwhile, Alibaba was claiming that the company was fully aware of the transaction.
Just in the beginning of this past summer, Yahoo chairman Roy Bostock for some reason gave his public support to Carol Bartz at Yahoo’s annual general meeting. This seems strange when compared with the decision to fire her by phone just three months later.
One of the interesting facts of Carol Bartz’s career is that she once went as far as to tell Michael Arrington, the owner of the Techcrunch service to “f*** off” during an interview at some industry event. By a coincidence, Michael Arrington quit his company at the same time that Bartz was fired. In other words, it seems that they were both “f***ed off” at the same time. Yahoo's senior executive, who later worked for AMD, claimed that the company’s building in Satan Clara has bad feng shui. It seems that Carol Bartz will now agree with him.
Married couple drowns in Pottuvil
A
married couple drowned in Paanama area in Pottuvil today (September 9) morning while
fishing in the Panagala lagoon, Police Spokesman SP Prishantha Jayakoddy
stated.
The
bodies of the two victims have been found and are awaiting the post mortem
examinations.
Excise OIC arrested with ganja haul
The officer in charge (OIC) of the Excise Department Hambantota office
has been arrested while transporting a stock of marijuana. The batch of
illicit drugs was discovered by police officers at a security checkpoint
in the Udawalawe area in Thanamalwila upon inspection of a cab. Police state that 111kg of powdered ganja and 131kg of dried ganja were found concealed in the vehicle.
It has been reported that suspect in question had been taken into custody by a police team including the OIC of the Monaragala Anti-vice squad.
The OIC of the Hambantota Excise Department, suspected of transporting the stock of drugs is a resident of Siribopura, Hambantota.
Colombo-Badulla railway services disrupted
Trains starting from Badulla might be delayed. The center said.